I had no idea, my dear, 11 yr old daughter would start asking all about sex, and so bluntly as well.
I have heard all those horror stories of moms and dads around the world, whom dread that day, when their son or daughter will come to inquire about, " Sex". From the ones that tell their kids," Go ask your mom/dad...", to the ones that say," That topic is forbidden in this house!", to the ones that have a point made by retelling the bee and flower story or the birdie in the nest story.
No wonder, many kids prefer to just ask their peers in schools, cause mom and dad either refuse to broach the subject, or just some type of story, with cute names involved, that leave them utterly lost.
I recall, how I came to find out, what it meant to be a girl, when I entered puberty at age 10. My mom was less than prepared for this, and she did two things, give me the birdie and nest story, and then told me," Make sure whatever you do, to not let any boy try and put his birdie inside your cave." Pardon the pun, yet that was all I was told. I did not know what other functions," birdie" had or why anyone would want a birdie anywhere near your legs....huh?
Of course, the way your body changes, hence made me aware that more was going on, yet no one was allowed to answer my questions and I was forbidden to inquire anything about this at all.
So, I made it a point, that when I had my first child, be it boy or girl, I would hold an open dialogue in hopes they come to me first, and talk as bluntly as they require. At this time, my daughter has become aware of men kissing men, women kissing women, and men kissing men.
To her, its a norm for a man and woman to kiss, but the other two, for her were an eye opener. So, I had to explain this new tendency to her, which is really not new, but something she had never been aware of, until she saw a girl kiss another girl at an amusement park last year.
I made sure to tell her, that even if she feels grossed out, when seeing this type of affection going on, to never disrespect any of these people, be it boy, girl, man or woman, less make fun of them, or think of them as crazy ect...cause in the end, even If I disagree on a personal level to this, I am not going to be going out and pointing them out or telling them to change or stop doing what they are doing.
I have told her to show the same respect as she would to anyone else, and that its ok to have friends, that are either gay or lesbian, because that does not mean she will become like them or be expected to be like them. In the end, these boys and girls, are just as human as she is, with feelings, integrity, and emotions; they are also looking to be accepted and fit in, as everyone else and she cannot judge them for what they do, nor does she have to agree, as long as she does not treat them like trash.
Now, she has been asking more in regards to what it means to, " have sex," and " make love," to someone. Plus other questions in regards to the boys part in this, and how their body changes, ect..
Overall, I am at peace in regards to her being admant by telling me, that by no means does she want to engage in any type of sexual activity at this time or at all, until she is grown up, and matured, and ready to settle down.
She still wants to have a boyfriend, but that is another matter.
I love her so much, I wish I did not have to let go, but so be it, in order for her to become independent I must let go of her, slowly...
Angel 4 Eternity
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