Twas a night, while all on earth were slumbering away,
an Angel was sent on a special mission.
Hark! Go forth and choose a Mommy and Daddy,
for little Avery.
Quick as lightning, did this Angel speed towards earth,
delighted to have been chosen for such special mission.
She looked here and there, and kept on thinking,
"What do a good set of parents look like?"
Alas, after spending 4 weeks on earth, she came upon a couple,
whom seemed strong and confident. She was impressed by how they had
already overcome other trials and said," These will be a perfect fit for Little Avery."
Overjoyed! She returned to Heaven and told God about what she had seen
and heard in every corner of the earth, but hastened to tell Him about this
endearing couple, whom were both young, loving and strong.
He asked if she was certain they were the ones? and she said," Yes!"
Hence little Avery was brought and Jesus, took hold of her and said,"
Little Avery, you are going to become a light that will shine, within the darkness, and bring
Love, Joy and Hope to many!"
She looked into His eyes and said," Will I live long enough to know my Mommy and Daddy?"
He tenderly replied," Yes, you will live long enough to know Your Mommy and Daddy, to Love them,
and fill their days, with joy, as each morning, you will have a smile on your lovely face."
Little Avery smiled right then and there, and hoped she could always have a smile on her face, as long as she was allowed to live on earth.
The day came in which, she was placed within her Mommy's womb and in secret started growing, and waiting in anticipation to enter this realm.
As her mother and father prepared to receive her, little did they know, how closely they were being watched by many up high in heavens court.
As Little Avery awaited her big day, God told the Angel that had been sent on the mission,
to prepare a new room for Little Avery to sleep in, once she returned and to make sure all her relatives were also waiting to meet her back at Heavens Gates.
He had a special Mission, for Little Avery to fulfill, while she had life here on earth,
and God would not take her, until that mission was made known, to all mankind.
In order to raise awareness of an unknown disease. And to let others connect, from hearing about
this cute little angel, whom never quit living from the day she was conceived to the day she was called by God.
Finally, the day came, and she entered this world, and oh what tears of Joy were shed by her Mommy and Daddy, to see, just how perfect she was in every way. Yet, what would catch their attention, would be her smile, that golden smile, she held onto dearly, even before the diagnosis was made.
And from the time they found out, and were told she never quit smiling, not one day at all.
Little Avery was able to raise awareness of SMA, and she also managed to continue smiling, each new day, in which God gave her the gift of life. She lived well, and was surrounded by much love and even now as she sleeps in her new heavenly room, she is not alone, for her grandparents and other relatives are with her, constantly watching over her, and she still has that precious smile on her face.
Rest in Peace, Little One, and know, because of you many have come together and will do what they can in order to help your Mommy and Daddy to continue raising awareness of this genetic Disease.
With Love, from One, who was moved and touched by your life and story and willingness to live and love and always have a smile on your sweet, angel face.
Most sincerely,
Angel4Eternity
P.S: Go to the following link: http://averycan.blogspot.com/
God bless!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
How soon is too soon?
How soon is too soon?
In regards to allowing my 11 year old have her first official boyfriend, go to her first party, first date, and how much info, must I give her in regards to sex?
I am simply throwing all this out there, cause she basically, is begging to have a boyfriend and not wait until she is 18 yrs of age, which is way better than her waiting until she is 30 years of age!
Yet, she tells me the following:
Me: " Why do you want to have a boyfriend at this time?"
Her: "So that when I get to your age, I am more aware of what dating implies and smarter than you too!"
Me: " Are you saying, that just because I have never gone on a date, makes me less of a mother?"
Her: " What if I ask you," Hey, Mom, how did you feel, when your first boyfriend took hold of your hand without letting go?"
Me: " Hmmm, no one has really ever held my hand, so...."
Her: " Mom, you are useless to me!"
Me:" Pardon my lack of experience, but I still do not see a point in allowing you to date at this time, if you are far from getting a job, buying your own house, and getting married!"
Her: " Mom, I do not need to get married, nor do I want to do so at this time, but at least I want to know what it is to go out on a date, and have a boy hold my hand, give me a hug, maybe a kiss( I cough at this time), and have some cuddle time with him as well."
Me: " Why can't you wait until your in college?"
Her: " Mom, your old school..."
..............................................
And we go back and forth, around the same thing. Today, we were eating dinner at pizza hut, to celebrate her birthday, and a guy was walking past the window close to our table, I looked at her blouse, and saw that it was showing a tad too much and told her to pull it up.
Her response to me was:
" Mom, you are way too overprotective of me!"
I just rolled my eyes, and muttered," I am your mother!"...
Does this make me a bad mother? How much space should I give her to explore this area, and besides warning her about the boys that are only looking to getting laid, and nothing more, what more should I tell her or do, as her mother, in order to insure her safety?
I know I cannot keep her in a bubble wrap, less keep her away from the boys, as no matter what I do, they are already noticing her. And she is wearing make up in a way that many people think she is in her teens already, and not just that, some guys think she is already 16 or 17 years of age!
I shutter at such thought, and at the same time I do not want to make the same mistake my parents made with my by forbidding all talk about sex and boys. And I know she is smart enough to scream and or fight back if someone were to try and take advantage of her!
If only there were a manual that is given to us at birth, in order to be better prepared when we finally become parents.
How soon is too soon?
Angel 4 Eternity
In regards to allowing my 11 year old have her first official boyfriend, go to her first party, first date, and how much info, must I give her in regards to sex?
I am simply throwing all this out there, cause she basically, is begging to have a boyfriend and not wait until she is 18 yrs of age, which is way better than her waiting until she is 30 years of age!
Yet, she tells me the following:
Me: " Why do you want to have a boyfriend at this time?"
Her: "So that when I get to your age, I am more aware of what dating implies and smarter than you too!"
Me: " Are you saying, that just because I have never gone on a date, makes me less of a mother?"
Her: " What if I ask you," Hey, Mom, how did you feel, when your first boyfriend took hold of your hand without letting go?"
Me: " Hmmm, no one has really ever held my hand, so...."
Her: " Mom, you are useless to me!"
Me:" Pardon my lack of experience, but I still do not see a point in allowing you to date at this time, if you are far from getting a job, buying your own house, and getting married!"
Her: " Mom, I do not need to get married, nor do I want to do so at this time, but at least I want to know what it is to go out on a date, and have a boy hold my hand, give me a hug, maybe a kiss( I cough at this time), and have some cuddle time with him as well."
Me: " Why can't you wait until your in college?"
Her: " Mom, your old school..."
..............................................
And we go back and forth, around the same thing. Today, we were eating dinner at pizza hut, to celebrate her birthday, and a guy was walking past the window close to our table, I looked at her blouse, and saw that it was showing a tad too much and told her to pull it up.
Her response to me was:
" Mom, you are way too overprotective of me!"
I just rolled my eyes, and muttered," I am your mother!"...
Does this make me a bad mother? How much space should I give her to explore this area, and besides warning her about the boys that are only looking to getting laid, and nothing more, what more should I tell her or do, as her mother, in order to insure her safety?
I know I cannot keep her in a bubble wrap, less keep her away from the boys, as no matter what I do, they are already noticing her. And she is wearing make up in a way that many people think she is in her teens already, and not just that, some guys think she is already 16 or 17 years of age!
I shutter at such thought, and at the same time I do not want to make the same mistake my parents made with my by forbidding all talk about sex and boys. And I know she is smart enough to scream and or fight back if someone were to try and take advantage of her!
If only there were a manual that is given to us at birth, in order to be better prepared when we finally become parents.
How soon is too soon?
Angel 4 Eternity
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Talking Sex with your kids.
I had no idea, my dear, 11 yr old daughter would start asking all about sex, and so bluntly as well.
I have heard all those horror stories of moms and dads around the world, whom dread that day, when their son or daughter will come to inquire about, " Sex". From the ones that tell their kids," Go ask your mom/dad...", to the ones that say," That topic is forbidden in this house!", to the ones that have a point made by retelling the bee and flower story or the birdie in the nest story.
No wonder, many kids prefer to just ask their peers in schools, cause mom and dad either refuse to broach the subject, or just some type of story, with cute names involved, that leave them utterly lost.
I recall, how I came to find out, what it meant to be a girl, when I entered puberty at age 10. My mom was less than prepared for this, and she did two things, give me the birdie and nest story, and then told me," Make sure whatever you do, to not let any boy try and put his birdie inside your cave." Pardon the pun, yet that was all I was told. I did not know what other functions," birdie" had or why anyone would want a birdie anywhere near your legs....huh?
Of course, the way your body changes, hence made me aware that more was going on, yet no one was allowed to answer my questions and I was forbidden to inquire anything about this at all.
So, I made it a point, that when I had my first child, be it boy or girl, I would hold an open dialogue in hopes they come to me first, and talk as bluntly as they require. At this time, my daughter has become aware of men kissing men, women kissing women, and men kissing men.
To her, its a norm for a man and woman to kiss, but the other two, for her were an eye opener. So, I had to explain this new tendency to her, which is really not new, but something she had never been aware of, until she saw a girl kiss another girl at an amusement park last year.
I made sure to tell her, that even if she feels grossed out, when seeing this type of affection going on, to never disrespect any of these people, be it boy, girl, man or woman, less make fun of them, or think of them as crazy ect...cause in the end, even If I disagree on a personal level to this, I am not going to be going out and pointing them out or telling them to change or stop doing what they are doing.
I have told her to show the same respect as she would to anyone else, and that its ok to have friends, that are either gay or lesbian, because that does not mean she will become like them or be expected to be like them. In the end, these boys and girls, are just as human as she is, with feelings, integrity, and emotions; they are also looking to be accepted and fit in, as everyone else and she cannot judge them for what they do, nor does she have to agree, as long as she does not treat them like trash.
Now, she has been asking more in regards to what it means to, " have sex," and " make love," to someone. Plus other questions in regards to the boys part in this, and how their body changes, ect..
Overall, I am at peace in regards to her being admant by telling me, that by no means does she want to engage in any type of sexual activity at this time or at all, until she is grown up, and matured, and ready to settle down.
She still wants to have a boyfriend, but that is another matter.
I love her so much, I wish I did not have to let go, but so be it, in order for her to become independent I must let go of her, slowly...
Angel 4 Eternity
I have heard all those horror stories of moms and dads around the world, whom dread that day, when their son or daughter will come to inquire about, " Sex". From the ones that tell their kids," Go ask your mom/dad...", to the ones that say," That topic is forbidden in this house!", to the ones that have a point made by retelling the bee and flower story or the birdie in the nest story.
No wonder, many kids prefer to just ask their peers in schools, cause mom and dad either refuse to broach the subject, or just some type of story, with cute names involved, that leave them utterly lost.
I recall, how I came to find out, what it meant to be a girl, when I entered puberty at age 10. My mom was less than prepared for this, and she did two things, give me the birdie and nest story, and then told me," Make sure whatever you do, to not let any boy try and put his birdie inside your cave." Pardon the pun, yet that was all I was told. I did not know what other functions," birdie" had or why anyone would want a birdie anywhere near your legs....huh?
Of course, the way your body changes, hence made me aware that more was going on, yet no one was allowed to answer my questions and I was forbidden to inquire anything about this at all.
So, I made it a point, that when I had my first child, be it boy or girl, I would hold an open dialogue in hopes they come to me first, and talk as bluntly as they require. At this time, my daughter has become aware of men kissing men, women kissing women, and men kissing men.
To her, its a norm for a man and woman to kiss, but the other two, for her were an eye opener. So, I had to explain this new tendency to her, which is really not new, but something she had never been aware of, until she saw a girl kiss another girl at an amusement park last year.
I made sure to tell her, that even if she feels grossed out, when seeing this type of affection going on, to never disrespect any of these people, be it boy, girl, man or woman, less make fun of them, or think of them as crazy ect...cause in the end, even If I disagree on a personal level to this, I am not going to be going out and pointing them out or telling them to change or stop doing what they are doing.
I have told her to show the same respect as she would to anyone else, and that its ok to have friends, that are either gay or lesbian, because that does not mean she will become like them or be expected to be like them. In the end, these boys and girls, are just as human as she is, with feelings, integrity, and emotions; they are also looking to be accepted and fit in, as everyone else and she cannot judge them for what they do, nor does she have to agree, as long as she does not treat them like trash.
Now, she has been asking more in regards to what it means to, " have sex," and " make love," to someone. Plus other questions in regards to the boys part in this, and how their body changes, ect..
Overall, I am at peace in regards to her being admant by telling me, that by no means does she want to engage in any type of sexual activity at this time or at all, until she is grown up, and matured, and ready to settle down.
She still wants to have a boyfriend, but that is another matter.
I love her so much, I wish I did not have to let go, but so be it, in order for her to become independent I must let go of her, slowly...
Angel 4 Eternity
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
The day she came into this world...
It was 7:30pm, when the contractions started, yet at that time, I was not sure if it was
a contraction or not. I was laying in bed, when I felt my stomach tighten, and I was unsure
of what was happening.
No, I did not forget that I was 9 months pregnant; Like I could. It was more that I had nothing else to rely on, but my brother's medical books, that talked about labor, and giving birth. It was the 21st of April, on a Saturday evening, when the first contractions started. On through the night, I would turn here and there and get little sleep.
At this time, my parents were still angry and bitter towards me, as I had ruined the family's reputation by going out and well, conceiving a baby outside of marriage. So I had been getting the silent treatment for about 2 weeks and a half, or so, as they literally found out I was pregnant by the time I was 8 and a half months pregnant! No, seriously, I was able to hide my pregnancy up til then. So, it was a big bomb that fell on them, and I totally give them every right to have felt so.
I will not get into much about the how, and why or any circumstances in regards to this, with one exception, at the time my baby was conceived, I was already at a dead end, point of my life, in which, nothing, absolutely nothing mattered to me anymore. I had been crushed, hurt, and blinded, by much, and then before ending my utterly, boring and pathetic, life, I decided to do every little thing I had always been told not to do, and so my child's father, simply took the opportunity, I had given him, and we never were in love, less would I have married him, but one day, he took me aside and asked," What will you do if you end up pregnant?", to which I replied," If I ever end up pregnant I will not abort the child, and I will suffer the consequences in order to give birth and raise him/her, with love and patience."
He then said," I respect that, and I would also say, that I would deny all rights to fathering this baby, in order for my son or daughter to live with you always, as I have nothing to offer, and there is no love in between us."
So, once I knew I had conceived, I remembered this conversation and did as I was told. I am the only parent she has ever known, and we will get to her asking questions, later on.
Back to my ongoing labor, as sunday arrived, I decided to keep my mouth shut, in regards to the pain, and I had it in my mind, that I deserved to suffer more pain than any other woman had ever suffered, due to my sins. After14 hours of being in labor, I finally told my mom, that the baby was indeed coming. Now, at this point, I had nothing prepared in order to receive my baby girl. And right before we headed to the public hospital, a cousin and his girlfriend came by to drop off clothing, blankets, baby bottles, ect...
My mom, merely looked at me and said," Ok, get in the car." As we drove to the hospital, I was sitting behind her, and the contractions were getting stronger. I would hold my breath, and dig my nails into my thighs, but not once did I scream out in pain. I had been forewarned, by someone, that the hospital I was being taken to, if any young mother screamed, the nurses would taunt you and call you names, and they preferred you not make any noise at all. I believed her and did as was told.
As we neared the hospital, my mom, said a quick prayer, and dropped me off, and wished me luck. I had nothing to say, and clearly I was terrified. A nurse took me to a cot, and said," Take your clothes off, and put this on." , as she waited, I asked," Where is the restroom?", she laughed and said, " honey, by the time you leave, we will have seen everything we need to see!".
I wanted to hide myself, so in the end, I did as told, and then was ordered to lay on the cot and not move. I got bored, and started walking around, to help my baby come down, and another nurse, reprimanded me, and ordered me back to my cot. Mind you, I was not in a private room, I was in a large room with several cots, separated by curtains; I could hear other women crying in pain, or yelling for their mothers!
I was left alone for around 4 hours, and not once did anyone come and check how far along I was. Finally, around midnight a nurse came and took me to another room. As we entered, I saw and heard the following:
A young girl about 14 or 15 years of age about to have her first baby, screaming out for her mother, and surrounded by nurses who kept on yelling back," Why you screaming and crying now, when your man was inside you, all you did was lay back and laugh?"
At the far end of the room, a woman in her mid 40's was having her 3rd baby, and was asking for an epidural to which the nurses replied," You went and got yourself pregnant, now you get to enjoy giving birth and feeling real pain..."
I was totally shocked, and felt bad, when a nurse pin pointed me out by saying to both woman and child," Look at her, she has been in labor, for almost two days, and she has not uttered one sound. Why can't you be like her? She is the best patient we've had, tonight!"
By that time, my limbs were jerking and I felt cold and tired. A nurse finally came to rupture my membranes, or sac, and then someone else placed an iv in my vein and started injecting, that medication that makes your contractions stronger. Boy, I almost cried out but in the end, I would just clench the side bars of my bed, as hard as I could and in the end, tears started flowing down my face, but I kept my mouth shut. Then, I started pushing, and suddenly felt her head, and told a nurse, and they rushed me to the Delivery Room, which was down the hall, and as we got there, I was told to move over to the table, and I was like, what table? There was this long metal thing, that was so thin, I nearly fell over!
The resident doctor, calmly walked in, and I was wondering why he was taking his time to get dressed, and picking the instruments he would use! I waited like for 20 more minutes, and was being told to not push!
I had it and told him, I could not wait any longer and started pushing and felt her body come out, and a nurse screamed, and ran to get her, and it was crazy after that! My baby girl ended ripping me up pretty bad, and I was just relieved to have pushed her out, and then the doctor grabbed her and lifted her up, and the first thing I saw, was her cute, round, pinkish, butt cheeks, and a bruise, and I was just like, " Wow! she has a big butt!", I could not fathom how such a big baby, had come out of my body! I am 4 ft 11 inches tall, and my body overall, after being obese for a period of time, at which time I weighed close to 300 pounds, was wide enough, yet I still could not believe she came out of me! I have lost over 200 pounds but need to lose at least some 40 more pounds, to be at my ideal weight!
She weighed in at 5lbs and 8 oz, and was 21 inches long. She was born at 1:23am on the 23rd of April of 2001. She had a full head of black hair, and has her daddy's eyes, and my nose and mouth, and his hair and feet and big hands.
They did not let me hold her at all, as the doctor had to repair the damage and I ended up with over 200 stitches and felt the last 40 or so, that was awful! A nurse took her away, and I could only hear her whimpering as the blanket they used was not soft, nor warm enough. Her head was not even covered up.
After 45 minutes of giving birth, they finally let me hold her and then I was told to breastfeed her, and I had no idea what to do, or how to hold her even! Yet, when I saw her beautiful eyes, looking at me, and her rosy cheeks, I forgot all pain I had within me, and all burdens, and just connected with her, and fell in love with her.
I had gone through great strains in taking care of her during my pregnancy as best I could.. and was happy that she came out as healthy as any baby can be!
I will never forget this day, nor will I stop talking about her big butt! she has threateneded to sue me if I ever tell this to her future boyfriends...haha!
One thing is for sure, I started loving my baby girl, before she even came out, but once I saw her, that love became more real to me. She is the reason, I started fighting back, to become independent and to stand up for myself.
I was 21 yrs of age when I got pregnant and was 22 when I became a mother. My parents were so ashamed, and hurt, and I was shunned there on after.
I lost a family but gained a family member, all at once.
And throughout this whole ordeal, my faith as shaky as it was at that point, kept me going.
Angel 4 Eternity
a contraction or not. I was laying in bed, when I felt my stomach tighten, and I was unsure
of what was happening.
No, I did not forget that I was 9 months pregnant; Like I could. It was more that I had nothing else to rely on, but my brother's medical books, that talked about labor, and giving birth. It was the 21st of April, on a Saturday evening, when the first contractions started. On through the night, I would turn here and there and get little sleep.
At this time, my parents were still angry and bitter towards me, as I had ruined the family's reputation by going out and well, conceiving a baby outside of marriage. So I had been getting the silent treatment for about 2 weeks and a half, or so, as they literally found out I was pregnant by the time I was 8 and a half months pregnant! No, seriously, I was able to hide my pregnancy up til then. So, it was a big bomb that fell on them, and I totally give them every right to have felt so.
I will not get into much about the how, and why or any circumstances in regards to this, with one exception, at the time my baby was conceived, I was already at a dead end, point of my life, in which, nothing, absolutely nothing mattered to me anymore. I had been crushed, hurt, and blinded, by much, and then before ending my utterly, boring and pathetic, life, I decided to do every little thing I had always been told not to do, and so my child's father, simply took the opportunity, I had given him, and we never were in love, less would I have married him, but one day, he took me aside and asked," What will you do if you end up pregnant?", to which I replied," If I ever end up pregnant I will not abort the child, and I will suffer the consequences in order to give birth and raise him/her, with love and patience."
He then said," I respect that, and I would also say, that I would deny all rights to fathering this baby, in order for my son or daughter to live with you always, as I have nothing to offer, and there is no love in between us."
So, once I knew I had conceived, I remembered this conversation and did as I was told. I am the only parent she has ever known, and we will get to her asking questions, later on.
Back to my ongoing labor, as sunday arrived, I decided to keep my mouth shut, in regards to the pain, and I had it in my mind, that I deserved to suffer more pain than any other woman had ever suffered, due to my sins. After14 hours of being in labor, I finally told my mom, that the baby was indeed coming. Now, at this point, I had nothing prepared in order to receive my baby girl. And right before we headed to the public hospital, a cousin and his girlfriend came by to drop off clothing, blankets, baby bottles, ect...
My mom, merely looked at me and said," Ok, get in the car." As we drove to the hospital, I was sitting behind her, and the contractions were getting stronger. I would hold my breath, and dig my nails into my thighs, but not once did I scream out in pain. I had been forewarned, by someone, that the hospital I was being taken to, if any young mother screamed, the nurses would taunt you and call you names, and they preferred you not make any noise at all. I believed her and did as was told.
As we neared the hospital, my mom, said a quick prayer, and dropped me off, and wished me luck. I had nothing to say, and clearly I was terrified. A nurse took me to a cot, and said," Take your clothes off, and put this on." , as she waited, I asked," Where is the restroom?", she laughed and said, " honey, by the time you leave, we will have seen everything we need to see!".
I wanted to hide myself, so in the end, I did as told, and then was ordered to lay on the cot and not move. I got bored, and started walking around, to help my baby come down, and another nurse, reprimanded me, and ordered me back to my cot. Mind you, I was not in a private room, I was in a large room with several cots, separated by curtains; I could hear other women crying in pain, or yelling for their mothers!
I was left alone for around 4 hours, and not once did anyone come and check how far along I was. Finally, around midnight a nurse came and took me to another room. As we entered, I saw and heard the following:
A young girl about 14 or 15 years of age about to have her first baby, screaming out for her mother, and surrounded by nurses who kept on yelling back," Why you screaming and crying now, when your man was inside you, all you did was lay back and laugh?"
At the far end of the room, a woman in her mid 40's was having her 3rd baby, and was asking for an epidural to which the nurses replied," You went and got yourself pregnant, now you get to enjoy giving birth and feeling real pain..."
I was totally shocked, and felt bad, when a nurse pin pointed me out by saying to both woman and child," Look at her, she has been in labor, for almost two days, and she has not uttered one sound. Why can't you be like her? She is the best patient we've had, tonight!"
By that time, my limbs were jerking and I felt cold and tired. A nurse finally came to rupture my membranes, or sac, and then someone else placed an iv in my vein and started injecting, that medication that makes your contractions stronger. Boy, I almost cried out but in the end, I would just clench the side bars of my bed, as hard as I could and in the end, tears started flowing down my face, but I kept my mouth shut. Then, I started pushing, and suddenly felt her head, and told a nurse, and they rushed me to the Delivery Room, which was down the hall, and as we got there, I was told to move over to the table, and I was like, what table? There was this long metal thing, that was so thin, I nearly fell over!
The resident doctor, calmly walked in, and I was wondering why he was taking his time to get dressed, and picking the instruments he would use! I waited like for 20 more minutes, and was being told to not push!
I had it and told him, I could not wait any longer and started pushing and felt her body come out, and a nurse screamed, and ran to get her, and it was crazy after that! My baby girl ended ripping me up pretty bad, and I was just relieved to have pushed her out, and then the doctor grabbed her and lifted her up, and the first thing I saw, was her cute, round, pinkish, butt cheeks, and a bruise, and I was just like, " Wow! she has a big butt!", I could not fathom how such a big baby, had come out of my body! I am 4 ft 11 inches tall, and my body overall, after being obese for a period of time, at which time I weighed close to 300 pounds, was wide enough, yet I still could not believe she came out of me! I have lost over 200 pounds but need to lose at least some 40 more pounds, to be at my ideal weight!
She weighed in at 5lbs and 8 oz, and was 21 inches long. She was born at 1:23am on the 23rd of April of 2001. She had a full head of black hair, and has her daddy's eyes, and my nose and mouth, and his hair and feet and big hands.
They did not let me hold her at all, as the doctor had to repair the damage and I ended up with over 200 stitches and felt the last 40 or so, that was awful! A nurse took her away, and I could only hear her whimpering as the blanket they used was not soft, nor warm enough. Her head was not even covered up.
After 45 minutes of giving birth, they finally let me hold her and then I was told to breastfeed her, and I had no idea what to do, or how to hold her even! Yet, when I saw her beautiful eyes, looking at me, and her rosy cheeks, I forgot all pain I had within me, and all burdens, and just connected with her, and fell in love with her.
I had gone through great strains in taking care of her during my pregnancy as best I could.. and was happy that she came out as healthy as any baby can be!
I will never forget this day, nor will I stop talking about her big butt! she has threateneded to sue me if I ever tell this to her future boyfriends...haha!
One thing is for sure, I started loving my baby girl, before she even came out, but once I saw her, that love became more real to me. She is the reason, I started fighting back, to become independent and to stand up for myself.
I was 21 yrs of age when I got pregnant and was 22 when I became a mother. My parents were so ashamed, and hurt, and I was shunned there on after.
I lost a family but gained a family member, all at once.
And throughout this whole ordeal, my faith as shaky as it was at that point, kept me going.
Angel 4 Eternity
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Just a thought
This past weekend, I had planned a surprise party for my daughter,
but in the end, it did not go as planned, and we ended up with only 2 guests, and lots of left over food.
She was dissapointed and I was angry and so upset, that I ended in tears. The funny part was, that she came over to comfort me, instead of my comforting her!
And she taught me to just forgive and let go, and to enjoy the moment, with her and count the blessings we have.
I cannot believe she is growing up so fast! Yet, in the end, as she gets closer to becoming a full time teenager, I am not sure I look forward to that period, alone!
Mind you, she is already asking about having a boyfriend, and she wants a cell phone, and a facebook profile, and so on! I have kept my head in the game and have stated that until she turns 18 years of age, and once she gets a job of her own, can she have an I Phone, by all means! And facebook is out of the question! I mean, the latest news reports of parents posting pictures of their kids, binded up in tape, or holding a gun, which yes, is not much really, but then what about the fact, that some people are even posting naked pictures of themselves!
I also want to avoid having her bullied online, besides being bullied in school. Yet, I know, I cannot keep her from any of these things, less hold her hostage, but I want what is best for her, as most parents want right?
So, is this wrong of me to do?
She thinks I am old school, and crazy, which I am but good crazy I say!
She will always be my baby, wether she likes it or not, but for now, keeping the boys at bay is becoming my new mission.
I need to get a bat, and maybe a few baseballs, just in case....
Please do not worry, I promise to not hurt any boy that comes up to ask her out ;) Just want to make sure he knows, what his boundaries are with her, and what I will expect of him.
Ah, I cannot wait to go pick her up and head on home, to another evening of what will we be having for dinner and more boy talk!
Peace,
Hmm, might use a different signature for this blog, but for now,
Angel 4 Eternity
but in the end, it did not go as planned, and we ended up with only 2 guests, and lots of left over food.
She was dissapointed and I was angry and so upset, that I ended in tears. The funny part was, that she came over to comfort me, instead of my comforting her!
And she taught me to just forgive and let go, and to enjoy the moment, with her and count the blessings we have.
I cannot believe she is growing up so fast! Yet, in the end, as she gets closer to becoming a full time teenager, I am not sure I look forward to that period, alone!
Mind you, she is already asking about having a boyfriend, and she wants a cell phone, and a facebook profile, and so on! I have kept my head in the game and have stated that until she turns 18 years of age, and once she gets a job of her own, can she have an I Phone, by all means! And facebook is out of the question! I mean, the latest news reports of parents posting pictures of their kids, binded up in tape, or holding a gun, which yes, is not much really, but then what about the fact, that some people are even posting naked pictures of themselves!
I also want to avoid having her bullied online, besides being bullied in school. Yet, I know, I cannot keep her from any of these things, less hold her hostage, but I want what is best for her, as most parents want right?
So, is this wrong of me to do?
She thinks I am old school, and crazy, which I am but good crazy I say!
She will always be my baby, wether she likes it or not, but for now, keeping the boys at bay is becoming my new mission.
I need to get a bat, and maybe a few baseballs, just in case....
Please do not worry, I promise to not hurt any boy that comes up to ask her out ;) Just want to make sure he knows, what his boundaries are with her, and what I will expect of him.
Ah, I cannot wait to go pick her up and head on home, to another evening of what will we be having for dinner and more boy talk!
Peace,
Hmm, might use a different signature for this blog, but for now,
Angel 4 Eternity
Motherhood, oh the joy!
This past monday, the 23rd of April, my baby girl, turned 11 years old.
And she had to sit through another tale of how she came to be and her
very abrupt entrance into this place, we call earth.
Well, at the age of 33, I never would have foreseen becoming a mother at 22 years of age.
Even so, I must say, its been a new roller coaster ride, in regards, to learning to become a mother,
and dealing with a live baby, verses a doll, that one could throw around and stomp on if needed.
The fact that I was more of a tomboy verses a girly girl, growing up, I did adore babies, yet I never fathomed of becoming a mother, at any time in my life.
Not that I did not think of it, but due to a very unique start in my own life, I never thought I would make it into adulthood. Yet, here I am, and there she is, standing in awe, of such a beautfil, lovely, young lady, my baby is coming out to be.
If you were to ask why I live, I would say to you, I am alive, because I chose to live in order to fight and protect her, from all the evil, that is unfolding within this place, called, Earth.
I have another blog, in which I recount the most horrid memories of my childhood, and of facing tribulations and trials, and learning to face the truth. I also recount how my daughter came to be, and in the end, its not the beginning any mother would wish for her child, or children, yet in my case, it was not a happy one, but I endured what I had to endure in order to have her safe and sound in my arms.
Throughout the years, I have grown up in many ways, and along with her, I have learned, that at each stage in life, a mother, needs to change her role in order to confront the constant changes going on within her child's own life.
But the one thing, I have learned throughout all this, is to Love. The moment you lay eyes on your newborn, this surge, of mixed emotions and feelings arise, which connect you, to that tiny, bundle, in such a way, that almost immediately, you want to protect that life, and not let any bad thing happen to your baby.
The Love that comes from a mother's heart is probably one of the purest forms of Love, that can still be found upon this earth. No matter how your baby comes out, of your womb, you have already cared for it, prepared for it, and you are willing to stand up against those that might say or think otherwise.
These past 11 yrs, have not been easy, yet, ever since my child and I were reunited, last year, after being separated for 3 whole years, we have both bonded together, with arguments and fights along the way, yet the Love that I felt before even seeing her, has grown stronger each day, each second of my life, I am willing to be with her, as she continues to become independent, and strong and learns the way of life, right from wrong, ect..
I admit, at times I wish to hide her from the boys and men, that are already noticing her in many ways, yet at the same time, I know that I will never be able to fully protect her 24/7 and hence I rely on God to protect her at all times, whenever I cannot be around her.
As many times as we cry, there will always be tears of joy in midst of pain and tribulation. I hope to live long enough to make sure my daughter marries a good man, one who will cherish her and love her as I have and more.
Angel 4 Eternity
And she had to sit through another tale of how she came to be and her
very abrupt entrance into this place, we call earth.
Well, at the age of 33, I never would have foreseen becoming a mother at 22 years of age.
Even so, I must say, its been a new roller coaster ride, in regards, to learning to become a mother,
and dealing with a live baby, verses a doll, that one could throw around and stomp on if needed.
The fact that I was more of a tomboy verses a girly girl, growing up, I did adore babies, yet I never fathomed of becoming a mother, at any time in my life.
Not that I did not think of it, but due to a very unique start in my own life, I never thought I would make it into adulthood. Yet, here I am, and there she is, standing in awe, of such a beautfil, lovely, young lady, my baby is coming out to be.
If you were to ask why I live, I would say to you, I am alive, because I chose to live in order to fight and protect her, from all the evil, that is unfolding within this place, called, Earth.
I have another blog, in which I recount the most horrid memories of my childhood, and of facing tribulations and trials, and learning to face the truth. I also recount how my daughter came to be, and in the end, its not the beginning any mother would wish for her child, or children, yet in my case, it was not a happy one, but I endured what I had to endure in order to have her safe and sound in my arms.
Throughout the years, I have grown up in many ways, and along with her, I have learned, that at each stage in life, a mother, needs to change her role in order to confront the constant changes going on within her child's own life.
But the one thing, I have learned throughout all this, is to Love. The moment you lay eyes on your newborn, this surge, of mixed emotions and feelings arise, which connect you, to that tiny, bundle, in such a way, that almost immediately, you want to protect that life, and not let any bad thing happen to your baby.
The Love that comes from a mother's heart is probably one of the purest forms of Love, that can still be found upon this earth. No matter how your baby comes out, of your womb, you have already cared for it, prepared for it, and you are willing to stand up against those that might say or think otherwise.
These past 11 yrs, have not been easy, yet, ever since my child and I were reunited, last year, after being separated for 3 whole years, we have both bonded together, with arguments and fights along the way, yet the Love that I felt before even seeing her, has grown stronger each day, each second of my life, I am willing to be with her, as she continues to become independent, and strong and learns the way of life, right from wrong, ect..
I admit, at times I wish to hide her from the boys and men, that are already noticing her in many ways, yet at the same time, I know that I will never be able to fully protect her 24/7 and hence I rely on God to protect her at all times, whenever I cannot be around her.
As many times as we cry, there will always be tears of joy in midst of pain and tribulation. I hope to live long enough to make sure my daughter marries a good man, one who will cherish her and love her as I have and more.
Angel 4 Eternity
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